Jonathon's Closet

Sunday, January 07, 2007

"The Man" - his thoughts on my husband

Ok, so I was going to write something madly profound yesterday, the 8th anniversary date of Don's death. But as Jona shared, I've been feeling a bit punk lately and quite fuzzy-headed. Honestly, I couldn't think my way out of a paper bag, let alone compose some deep thoughtful reflection on these past 8 years without his smile. Strange as it may sound, I've decided to let John "write" today's post, as I share his words from yesterday.

I was resting at John's place and as he bent over to kiss my forehead, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him close, kissing his neck and whispering suggestive thoughts in his ear - usually a no-fail method, if ya know what I mean. But the normal reaction just wasn't there. John slid his arms around me, gave me a gentle hug and sat down next to me. He smiled and said "you know I love you ... but even if you were feeling well right now, well, not today."

I grinned and teasingly asked if the calendar meant that for the rest of our lives Jan. 6th was just off-limits - I can usually tease John out of a mood quite easily. He held my hands in his and quietly responded "look, I know it's strange but it's just how I feel ... it's like I've gotten to know Don pretty well these past few years and somehow it just feels ... disrespectful."

Ok, so I'm a little stong-willed ... I heard him, I understood him, but as I didn't agree with him I wasn't going to let it go that easily. "Honestly, John ... don't you think that 8 years ago today Don STOPPED caring if anyone else was doing his wife!?!"

That little bit of levity was basically ignored. John gave me an almost-smile and gently shared his thoughts. "Don was a good man. A very good man. And he loved you very much, that's been easy to see all along. I feel like in some strange way his death gave me an amazing gift - and for today, I'm just the caretaker of something very precious; something that in some small way will always belong to him ... now don't get me wrong, I don't feel like this everyday. But for today, when I look at you - no matter how much I love you, you're Don's wife".

11 Comments:

  • Well, you already know how I feel about it, but I'll just say that I'm glad you at least had John yesterday. You sounded in much better spirits than I've heard you be in awhile. And that's even with you being sick!

    By Blogger Chaos Mommy, at 12:22 PM  

  • How precious it is that you have found someone so special, again.

    By Blogger Rosepetal, at 1:11 PM  

  • Like the chaos mommy said, you do sound to be in better spirits today. John is a wonderful man and whether you agree with him or not, I think he does have a point.

    By Blogger Jenn, at 2:18 PM  

  • You have a wonderful man, how touching that he could love you so much to take the time to understand and see how much Don loved you. You really deserve a great man, and it sounds like you have one of the best!

    By Anonymous Amber, at 2:39 PM  

  • I would want my husband to find love again. I would cry tears from heaven if he stayed alone for the rest of his life. That John can appreciate this gift of love makes him special among men. I hope you feel better soon!

    By Blogger Lemon Stand, at 3:19 PM  

  • Wow. John is amazing.

    By Blogger Oh, The Joys, at 7:39 PM  

  • Hope you are feeling better soon! I am really glad that you had John with you, and as I said, it sounds like you have a really great guy there!! Love, Snow

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:20 AM  

  • You seem to have one incredible guy there, Kate. I know I'm jealous.

    By Blogger HECinNaptown, at 6:54 PM  

  • What a wise, wise, man. He sounds wonderful. And I hope you're feeling better soon.

    By Anonymous Becki, at 5:32 PM  

  • Kate my dear fellow blogger, I think you are amazing, but I gotta tell ya this blog in particular brought tears of joy, sadness, and respect to my eyes tonight. Joy because you are moving on, and forward. Sadness because its truly just sad to lose someone so special to you, and respect for John, I mean holy cow that is the kindest thing he could have ever said to you. I am so happy for you, sorry your feeling under the weather but OMG you are truly blessed honey.

    Get well soon
    Stef

    By Blogger navywife6, at 2:59 PM  

  • "I feel like in some strange way his death gave me an amazing gift - and for today, I'm just the caretaker of something very precious; something that in some small way will always belong to him ... now don't get me wrong, I don't feel like this everyday. But for today, when I look at you - no matter how much I love you, you're Don's wife".

    That is beautiful. It is something that I hope my brother's widow will hear someday. Thank you for sharing it.

    By Blogger angela marie, at 1:49 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home