"The Man" - his thoughts on my husband

Ok, so I was going to write something madly profound yesterday, the 8th anniversary date of Don's death. But as Jona shared, I've been feeling a bit punk lately and quite fuzzy-headed. Honestly, I couldn't think my way out of a paper bag, let alone compose some deep thoughtful reflection on these past 8 years without his smile. Strange as it may sound, I've decided to let John "write" today's post, as I share his words from yesterday.

I was resting at John's place and as he bent over to kiss my forehead, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him close, kissing his neck and whispering suggestive thoughts in his ear - usually a no-fail method, if ya know what I mean. But the normal reaction just wasn't there. John slid his arms around me, gave me a gentle hug and sat down next to me. He smiled and said "you know I love you ... but even if you were feeling well right now, well, not today."

I grinned and teasingly asked if the calendar meant that for the rest of our lives Jan. 6th was just off-limits - I can usually tease John out of a mood quite easily. He held my hands in his and quietly responded "look, I know it's strange but it's just how I feel ... it's like I've gotten to know Don pretty well these past few years and somehow it just feels ... disrespectful."

Ok, so I'm a little stong-willed ... I heard him, I understood him, but as I didn't agree with him I wasn't going to let it go that easily. "Honestly, John ... don't you think that 8 years ago today Don STOPPED caring if anyone else was doing his wife!?!"

That little bit of levity was basically ignored. John gave me an almost-smile and gently shared his thoughts. "Don was a good man. A very good man. And he loved you very much, that's been easy to see all along. I feel like in some strange way his death gave me an amazing gift - and for today, I'm just the caretaker of something very precious; something that in some small way will always belong to him ... now don't get me wrong, I don't feel like this everyday. But for today, when I look at you - no matter how much I love you, you're Don's wife".