The need for "better"

Last Friday, I was sitting in a room full of widows - one of the support groups I facilitate - when a voice asked...

"WHEN DOES IT GET BETTER?"

The answer that I so desperately wanted give was "soon" ... but that would be a lie.


Last night, I was on the phone with a dear friend - a friend who has lost her father, as I have - when she described how his absence is always with her, and how she wondered when it would get better...

And I too think of my father every day. Usually thoughts of him bring a smile, although on occasion his absence invokes tears.

And this conversation with my friend brought my thoughts back to the voice in the group, pleading for comfort, the plaintive cry so imploringly seeking freedom from pain...

because, for a widow, it isn't just "moments" in which we feel that absence.

It's with every single breath we take...

"WHEN DOES IT GET BETTER?"

And, as I head into the anniversary of Don's death with nearly 9 years of experience, I say

"It doesn't get better - we simply get better at it"


Here's to 2008 ... a year that we will dedicate to the process of getting better! It's all about getting more value out of life, about finding joy in each and every day, about being thankful for what we have, about seeking out the best we can and about making the best of whatever comes our way.


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And, on another topic: Yep, I've been quite absent. This stems in part to some rather serious health issues, and in part to a lack of internet at home - though it was the luxury I've managed to hold onto the longest, mainly due to Jona's needing it for homework, there is no money in the budget for our on-line connection. We'll be here whenever possible, and thanks to all who inquired.